


Clowder Meets Konoha

by Foodmoon



Series: Matatabi's Clowder [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Matatabi Clan joins Konoha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-29 17:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: Matatabi ruminates on pre-politics. Tobirama has missing-filter issues.
Relationships: Hashirama and Madara, Izuna and Tobirama and Matatabi
Series: Matatabi's Clowder [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543681
Comments: 50
Kudos: 292





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. This is rambly af. But at least it's writing? Like, today's the first day since I posted the latest chapter of 'Kami' that my muse has given me so much as a single word of any fic. Ugh.  
Enjoy~

Matatabi likes Konoha. Relatively, of course. Human cities all have their ridiculous points. And she doesn’t like that some of the former kit killers are still around, or that Konoha sometimes accepts missions to kill kits. _That_ she disapproves of. Along with the fact that their sanitation systems are laughable. Not that they don’t _function_, but they’re crude. Honestly, she expected a bit more imagination from the elder brothers of her first two human kits.

The tiny village built by _her_ human kits, rescued from any number of warring clans at this point, but fewer as of late, as should be the case, has a _much_ better sanitation system, despite fewer resources at their disposal. Granted, that _could_ be because her Tobirama is an unparalleled genius and her Izuna is a shameless enabler. The rest of her kits tend to be enthused about helping out with their joint projects, at least after the initial moments of appalled and confused looks that a great number of these projects inevitably draw. Even she has to admit that sacrificing living enemies to turn the souls of the dead on their foes is a concept that makes her fur stand on end a little, for instance.

It’s not that she _disapproves_ of the sheer gall and creativity that the jutsu necessitates, just… Well, she’d restricted its use to _real_ emergencies, so as to stay out of the human clowders’ perceptions as a whole. Kits are hardly fit to fight grown shinobi, no matter how skilled they are, after all, since they have smaller, more fragile chakra systems than adults.

Her kits _are_ skilled, of course. She makes good use of her bits of chakra-as-cats spies among the various clans, both in and out of Konoha, and copies jutsu sign sequences to show her Tobirama and Izuna, who then learn the jutsus properly and teach them to the other kits. Not all of them to all the kits, of course. Some of them only benefit from certain types of jutsus and find the others too difficult to be of real use. But there are plenty of fire jutsus for the formerly Uchiha kits, and plenty of earth and water jutsus for the formerly Senju kits, and a variety that suit kits from clans that use other techniques instead. Tobirama and Izuna learn them all, or some approximation thereof, because they _can_ and because they are terribly competitive kits. They _also_ compete on creating new techniques, because Tobirama can’t seem to help himself and Izuna refuses to be outdone.

Though even he doesn’t try to keep up with Tobirama’s ability to plan strategies or ideas for improving their living situation, smart enough to content himself with being an avid enabler instead. If nothing else, Izuna is much better at instructing others to implement Tobirama’s plans, so if Tobirama is the planner and strategist, Izuna is the doer and commander.

Unlike Konoha’s silly Hokage system, however, her kits share authority nigh seamlessly, and easily share responsibilities out to other members of the clowder based on individual abilities. Not that the Hokage system is _horrible_, of course. Her kits’ older brothers do share reasonably well, simply not _quite_ as well as her beloved kits do.

Which, unfortunately, brings her back to the point that she has been discussing with her kits lately: Konoha has grown large with the passage of years, and it is simply a matter of time before one of their ninjas trips over the Matatabi clan. The only reason they haven’t heretofore is because they have been too busy _building_ to accommodate the various clans they have managed to talk into joining their revolutionary ‘hidden village’. _(Matatabi would like to note here that having a major road adjoining their village, which seems to be their most recent idea for prosperity, is hardly in line with the notion of ‘hidden’.)_

So far, it hasn’t been an issue, but when it becomes one, there’s really only three choices: 1. They move the clan/clowder out of Fire Country. Something none of them are really willing to do. 2. They tell Konoha to fuck off because they’re fine on their own. Doable, but likely short sighted on a long term basis. 3. They negotiate and join Konoha on _their_ terms. While overall the best option, it requires that they _have_ terms. Ones they’re willing to give on and ones that they will _not_ budge on. And a clan symbol, they require _that_ too, if they wish to make their demands stick.

A clan symbol is easy enough to settle on: A _very_ stylized cat surrounded by eight compass points, to represent Matatabi and the fact that their clan takes in kits from any place that does not value them sufficiently.

Terms they should demand is another matter. As is which ones they’re willing to give on and which ones they should stand firm on.

Tobirama is all for taking over all the civic systems as a condition for joining. Izuna doesn’t disagree, but isn’t so sure it will be accepted. Hina, Bhumi, and Jiahao are of the opinion that taking over the civic systems for the entire village is going to be outright rejected, as well as being an unreasonable amount of work to place on one clan. After a week and a half of arguing over it, Matatabi had been forced to put her paw down and categorize it as one of the demands they’re willing to give on, with a demand of at least one, preferably three, seats on the civic planning committee being something they _won’t_ back down from.

_It should be noted that Hina, Bhumi and Jiahao, while neither from important clans like Izuna and Tobirama nor among the first few of Matatabi’s kits, are those among the clowder who have naturally fallen into roles as advisors for the clan. Hina is from a small Fire clan, the last of her kin, the rest having been slaughtered by another clan shortly after Izuna found her as the sole survivor of an attack on a small caravan she and her parents had been guarding for a mission. Bhumi is an orphan from Wind, whose clan treated her as a nuisance after her father’s death. Jiahao is a civilian boy two of her other kits had rescued from slavery and a severe beating when in Kanna, a city in the Land of Ice, which is north of Earth Country and the Land of Iron._

One thing they all agree on is that rescuing kits from bad situations and adopting them is a right the clan will fight to the death to retain. There will be no negotiation on this point. When Izuna reluctantly points out that the other clans who currently make up Konoha will likely blow a gasket _(one of Tobirama’s more useful inventions, really)_ over the demand, though, more discussion commences. Tobirama finally proposes that _one_ warning to ninja _families_ and civilians is reasonable, and that _clans_ will receive _two_ warnings on top of the warning to the family, as well as notification of all warnings going to the Hokage before action is taken to permanently remove the kit in question from an untenable situation. Izuna agrees, Bhumi and Jiahao disagree rather vehemently, and Hina is of two minds on the matter, so again Matatabi has to put her paw down; conceding that, while slightly unreasonable from the clan’s point of view, other clans’ opinions have to be given a nod of respect to soften the demand. The other clans can hardly _stop_ them, after all.

The thing they put to _all_ kits in the clan is simple: _Do they return any of the confiscated children at the request of their clans, under any circumstance?_ Overall, the response is _‘No’_. However, a few point out that if a child is miserable and a clan more than willing to make accommodations to give them a happy life, refusing could tear the clan’s righteousness on the point to teeny tiny shreds that would hurt their position for any other case. And that children who require rescue through no real fault of their family or clan should be given the option of returning to their family and/or clan. Unfortunately, Tobirama, Izuna, and Hina are among this number, so Matatabi agrees to the caveats with some reluctance.

There are other, negotiable terms, of course. Mostly there for show and bait, to make Konoha feel like they have gotten the best of the clan by arguing them out of the terms.

A few are less negotiable. Such as a seat on the Clan council, the right to choose their own lands among the available lands claimed by Konoha, and the right to run their own, Clan-owned laboratories for research and testing. Quite honestly, none of them expect any argument on these sorts of terms, since they are nothing more than the clans already within Konoha have been granted. No clan would agree to join without at least the basic rights that allow them to preserve themselves as a clan.

After months of discussion, the Matatabi clan now has a neatly drawn up document of all proposed terms for when Konoha finally shows up to bother them, as well as a Clan-only document to which all have agreed _are_ the most basic terms, no matter what Konoha tries to argue them down to. Matatabi is satisfied with their work.

That said…while she likes Konoha well enough, she’s had enough of discussing such things to last her for the next century. _Honestly, bijuu never have to bother with this nonsense among themselves!_

~

Perhaps it is unfortunate that the first team which stumbles upon them ends up face to face with Tobirama immediately. Tobirama is not having a good day. His eyes hurt, his head hurts, his neck hurts, his back hurts, his left knee hurts, the arches of his feet hurt, and his _eyebrows_ hurt. His stomach is growling and proclaiming starvation. Now, this is not _unusual_ for a four-day bender of research where he’s forgotten to eat or sleep, but it definitely does not put him in a pleasant mood or make it easy to think.

So he opens his mouth to inquire politely why they are here, and what comes out, preceded by a string of colorful curses, is, “Why the hell are you Konoha tree-fuckers here, and is there a good reason I shouldn’t simply bury your corpses six feet under and save myself the hassle of dealing with you?”

Uh, yeah. That is probably unfortunate.

_Whoops._

On the other hand, while the Konoha team is still gaping at him, Izuna and kaa-san show up out of thin air _(or wherever, Tobirama isn’t picky at the moment)_, apologizing in a ‘not sorry’ tone for his state of impairment _(which is an **adequate** term, but it makes him sound like a drunk, which he most certainly is not)_ and Hina runs up and guides Tobirama away from the whole mess. He resists for the few seconds that it takes her to mention that there’s a warm meal waiting for him and a bath will be drawn for him while he eats, then goes along willingly enough. If Matatabi can’t keep Izuna from imploding initial negotiations, well…he’ll fix it later. When he’s not _impaired_. Izuna’s honestly better with making people comfortable than he is anyways. 

Which is a flaw.

On Izuna’s part, of course. Life is about progress, after all, not about how comfortable one can make others.

Speaking of Izuna’s flaws, though, he’s almost positive that he’s finally dumbed down the Hiraishin enough for even Izuna to use it. And probably Hisao as well, since the ex-Nara is more intelligent than Izuna. Dumbing it down further is statistically improbable, so most of the rest of the clan is probably out of luck, but at least this way he can label it a clan jutsu and keep it out of Konoha’s sticky hands. _(No, that’s probably rude. Madara might wash his hands, after all. But he has vivid memories of Hashirama repeatedly failing to do so before grabbing things, and far too many notes that ended up with permanent and disgusting finger marks on them, not to mention toys, clothes, furniture and weapons. It’s **possible** that Hashirama has outgrown the habit, but Tobirama has never been one to hold out vain hopes in expectation of finding them fulfilled.)_ Not that most of Konoha has the _intellect_ to use the jutsu, but it’s always the more capable ones who think they have a kami-given right to the research of others, and he really doesn’t want someone outside the clan to have easy access to places within the clan. Alright, he’ll concede that the less capable ones tend to think the same, but at least _those_ he doesn’t have to worry about mastering the jutsu. Stupidity _is_ a good thing, at times.

Just not when he has to deal with it personally. Then it’s just unfortunate. Like that team of Konoha ninjas. Who…really shouldn’t have been on that side of the village to begin with, actually, since that’s where Tobirama’s _laboratory_ is, and most definitely _not_ the crude road through the middle of town where any _non-hostile_ person would rationally choose to enter.

He blinks a few times, processing this, then nods. Not unfortunate after all, then. They should be glad he’s muddled enough that he didn’t simply kill them on the spot and drop their corpses at Konoha’s gate for trespassing.

“Tobirama-nii, quit thinking murder-y thoughts and keep walking before the food gets cold.” Hina complains.

“Hai, imouto.” He says reflexively and complies, because food gone cold is a crime against nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama: (notices error)(stops walking)(considers going back to fix error)  
Hina: (corrals Tobirama away from going back to commit mayhem)


	2. Meetings and Contracts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuna's pov, Madara's, Madara's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it makes sense and doesn't have too many typos~

Izuna is headed to Tobirama’s lab, with a chunk of their kaa-san’s chakra accompanying him as a very _large_ cat, in case dragging Tobirama to a hot meal and enforced rest turns out to be a physical endeavor, when there is a sharp flux of chakra not far from the lab. A flux recognizable as Tobirama’s temper snapping just a little. He and Matatabi take a sharp detour without even looking at each other, knowing faster is better when it comes to a sleep-deprived Tobirama being annoyed.

To his surprise, he finds not a misfortunate semi-sibling, but a trio of Konoha nin being cursed out by Tobirama, who ends his spiel in a threat to bury their remains. Presumably for the crime of being uninteresting and _in_ their tiny village. The latter, he supports, but the former is a Tobirama-only special. Luckily for them, they’re too taken aback to do anything immediately, and Tobirama is not thinking clearly enough to make the first move, so he and Matatabi are able to jump in and take over the conversation with fake apologies. Even more fortunately, Hina saw their change of direction and she comes running up behind them, maneuvering Tobirama safely away from the conversation.

“I’m so sorry about him.” He repeats insincerely.

“No one should be subjected to that.” Matatabi agrees with a hint of actual disapproval.

“He doesn’t _usually_ use such foul language before he offers to dispose of _unwanted intruders_ on Clan grounds.” Izuna assures them. “And I’m sure such fine, upstanding nin from _Konoha_ simply made an _honest mistake_ in coming in over a _nine foot wall_ instead of approaching via the gate as _non-hostile visitors_ would do.”

“Indeed. I’m sure it wasn’t your intention to _sneak around_ in our Clan compound like _enemy scouts_.” Matatabi practically purrs.

“Er…” The leader of the little trio has the grace to look the tiniest bit abashed. Most likely at being caught. Since sneaking around undoubtedly _was_ their purpose, having tripped over an ‘unknown’ clan.

“Wait. You’re apologizing for him _cursing_ at us? Not him threatening us?” The green haired one asks incredulously.

Izuna gives him a blankly incredulous look. If the idiots weren’t from Konoha, he’d have watched the show and then helped his brother/rival eliminate the evidence. _Honestly! _“Why in nine hells would I apologize for _that?_ You’re all lucky that he’s too sleepy to eviscerate you on reflex for startling him near his lab. And that we caught up to him before he moved on to the thought of actually eliminating intruders. We’re the heads of Clan Matatabi. Eliminating intruders is part of the job, you realize?”

“Izuna.” Matatabi scolds.

“What? Oh. Okay, kaa-san.” He smiles at them brilliantly. “I guess you’re wondering why you’re still alive, then? It’s simple. We’ve been waiting for someone from Konoha to show up, as we have something for Madara-sama and your Hokage.”

“Although, next time use the gate. Or I’ll let my kits use you to fertilize the roses.”

The green-haired one gulps, and the leader says reflexively, “Yes, ma’am!”

Less than ten minutes later, the nosy ninjas are on their way back to Konoha, with a pre-prepared proposal of their initial terms for agreeing to join the burgeoning ‘hidden’ village. He does not, of course, expect any leader in their right mind to simply agree and not try to argue them down for terms that better suit the village, particularly when the leader in question is _Tobirama’s_ brother by blood, and his chief advisor is _Izuna’s_ brother by blood. _That_ was the entire point of having numerous ‘negotiable’ terms included in the first place.

He smirks.

Not that bargaining them down will actually do much for the village other than make them _feel_ superior. If nothing else, being Tobirama’s ‘younger’ brother has made him appreciative of his brilliance and ability to manipulate people, even if he doesn’t really _understand_ them on some levels. From how Tobirama talks about Hashirama, he’s probably more on Madara’s level than on Tobirama’s level and, as smart as Madara is, Izuna knows he has blind spots.

_Konoha will never see them coming_.

~

Madara stares at Hashirama.

Hashirama stares back unblinkingly.

Finally, they both huff and break off the staring contest to look at the entirely unsolicited proposal from some clan that no one’s ever heard of, to join Konoha. Neither of them had expected one of their scout teams to stumble across a small but apparently prospering clan compound in the middle of nowhere and come back looking somewhat shaken with a meticulously prepared offer to Konoha and a description of two brothers that eerily match the descriptions of Izuna and Tobirama _if_ they had still been alive and aging normally, instead of ghosts. The only name they had gotten was ‘Matatabi’, which apparently is the name of some giant summons cat which claimed to be the mother of the clan heads _(heads, plural!)_, as well as the name of the clan itself.

“What if they really are-?” Hashirama starts to ask, obviously not reading a word in front of him.

“And what if it’s a ploy? It’s hardly a secret what happened.” He snaps back, irritation thick in his tone, _because he wants that too_. “Either way, we’ll deal with it later. For now, use what little brains the kamis blessed you with and help me read through this contract.”

“But I want-”

“No.”

Hashirama huffs again and actually starts reading. Honestly, without Madara the man would never get half the village business taken care of because getting him to focus is like getting a toddler to not chase butterflies: _almost more effort than it’s worth_. At least there’s a good brain under all that hair, or Madara would despair entirely.

The proposed contract is, to be quite honest, more than a little outrageous, but couched in terms that make it seem _so very reasonable_.

Madara’s first thought is that he wants to hire whoever phrased this thing for their diplomatic department, to con assholes into ironclad contracts for the rest of their existences. His second is that negotiating them down to something reasonable is going to be a _nightmare_.

“I want them.”

“What?” He blinks at Hashirama in surprise.

“Look! They’re volunteering to take over the whole civic systems _and _take three seats on that committee. If we turn it over to them, then we don’t have to suffer more judging stares from the Akamichi and Nara when they look over the latest competing plans for sewers and water and electricity! Frankly, I’m tired of all the complaining about it just from _my_ clan. What about you?”

He blinks, because that…is a fair point. As innovative as their village is, it _is_ kind of a piecemeal hodgepodge as to who has what amenities. They’ve done their best, but the elders and women have been pretty vociferous about their disappointment in the results, of late. “Well, they’d be too busy to think up mischief if they’re stuck with that, I suppose.”

Hashirama rolls his eyes and points at the back of one of the pages, where there is half a sketch of a sewer or water system that makes the best efforts they’ve seen so far look like the results of a drunken housewife attempting calligraphy. “I think they actually have the skills to _fix_ the mess, Madara. _Just that_ is enough to warrant accepting as much of the rest of it as we can reasonably agree to. Think of the reduction of migraines!”

“…Fine. But we’re _not_ giving them _two_ Clan Council seats!”

“Of course not. The rest of the clans would throw a hissy fit, because it wouldn’t be fair. I sincerely doubt they actually expect us to accept at least half these terms as written.”

“Or at all.” Madara mutters. “I don’t like this.”

“Liar.”

“I know where you sleep.” He threatens.

His friend merely nods, lips quirking. “So does Mito.”

Madara quails, because he likes Mito, he does, but he has _no intention_ of crossing a woman who knows three times as much fuuinjutsu theory as he does, and five times as much practical application thereof. “Leave Mito out of this.”

“What about Amara?”

He winces. His wife is even scarier than Mito. “Now you’re just being mean. Knock it off.”

Hashirama snickers and goes back to reading.

~

Surprisingly, it only takes two back and forths to get the contract signed, because the only change they make that the Matatabi Clan objects to is their rather reasonable restriction of the extra rights the clan is attempting to gain for the summons cat. Or, apparently, _not a summons_, since there’s a succinct note next to the clause the second time around:

_Matatabi is a **bijuu** and Konoha’s attempt to treat her as on the same level as a ninken or summons is frankly **downright insulting**, given that she and her siblings are the children of the Sage of Six Paths. Mother has duties given to her by her father, and bijuus are **not** existences that should be overly beholden to any **mere village**._

_~Tobirama Matatabi, Clan head  
~Izuna Matatabi, Clan head_

Which raises _all kinds of questions_ about the Uchiha family records, how bijuu exist and reproduce in the first place, and whether this really is a ploy to play on the tragic history of the Uchiha and Senju clans. But certainly explains the oddity of the rights they are demanding for her. Arguably, either he or Hashirama have a rather good possibility of being able to subdue a bijuu, but on the other hand, bijuus are powerful enough that most shinobi would only hope to be spared from their wrath once roused.

_Madara_ may think it’s outrageous, but Hashirama is intrigued by the whole thing and there’s really not anyone else in Fire country who has the _ability_ to do anything about it, so the clans can just suck it up and live with it. Because he and Hashirama had already decided on signing, so that’s that.

A copy has been made, and both copies are signed. One has been tucked away with the other copies of Clan contracts with Konoha, and the other has been sent back to the Matatabi clan, for their records.

He yawns. Clan council meetings are almost as boring as Civilian council meetings, but at least require less explaining. Paper crinkles in his hand and he remembers the message Hikaku passed him just before the meeting. Opening the note, he squints at the handwriting.

_Oh_.

“Hashirama, the Matatabi clan sends word that they’ll begin moving in at the end of next week. Something indecipherable about children?”

His friend beams, perking up from his own bored droop. “Oh, excellent!”

Shikani Nara raises a brow at them. “The Matatabi clan? Who are they?”

Madara blinks. _Oh, right. They may have forgotten to inform the Councils of the newest clan. Whoops._

“I’m so glad you asked!” Hashirama chirps and pulls out the half sketch from the first version of the contract and passes it around. “As you can see, we’ve finally found people capable of implementing proper, village-wide sewer systems and the like.”

When the paper gets to him, Shikani takes a long look at it, then nods affably and passes it to Inoka Yamanaka. The woman eyes the half-sketch, then flips the paper over and scans the writing. A moment later, she chokes. “Tell me you did _not_ give them two seats on the Clan Council?”

“Of course not.” Hashirama soothes.

“And this demand to be given the Civic Systems department, _which we don’t have_, and the _three_ seats on the Civic Planning committee?”

“Well, we could hardly pass that up, now could we? Everyone’s been complaining that we need someone _competent_ in charge, after all.”

“Not to worry, we tied them into that one so they can’t wiggle out of it.” Madara adds helpfully, mostly because the look of dawning horror on several faces is pretty darn entertaining, if he says so himself.

Shimura snatches the paper from Inoka and reads the clause himself, then nods. “This is actually to our benefit. I’m surprised, given that they’re an upstart clan that we’ve never heard of before. I trust you weeded out any of the _truly_ outrageous terms before signing?”

“More or less.” Madara allows, because he _knows_ the clans are going to throw a fit once they encounter that clause about rescuing children, which fortunately is _not_ on this particular piece of paper.

“I’m not so sure we should call them ‘upstarts’.” Hashirama objects thoughtfully. “Their clan mother is a bijuu, after all.”

There is dead silence for a very long moment, then Kouga Hanamoto clears his throat. “Did I just hear you say that this clan has a _bijuu!?_”

Hashirama shakes his head. “No, I said their _Clan mother_ is a bijuu. The Nibi, we believe. Her name is Matatabi, daughter of the Sage of Six Paths.”

Madara leans back in his chair, activating his sharingan to record the priceless reactions to that little tidbit. His wife and Mito are going to be _so annoyed_ that they missed getting to see this. If nothing else, Hashirama is always good for entertainment at the expense of others. The most hilarious thing is that he’s not _trying_ to upend their world views. He just manages to pick the perfect timing for these things. Though at least some of his angle of approach has to be deliberate. At least Madara _hopes_ there’s some deliberation to it. Otherwise his best friend is an idiot to end all idiots.


	3. Greeting, Settlement, Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konoha might see them coming, but do they know what they're seeing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene did _not_ want to be written _at all_, so I finally ditched it in favor of the current last scene, which promptly snowballed, so...enjoy a long chapter, I guess? lol.
> 
> Clan Matatabi isn't particularly well-off at this point, but they're in no danger of starving or running out of necessities. Missions and Tobi's inventions keep them afloat financially.

Konoha _does_, in fact, see them coming.

Izuna would admit to disappointment, but it’s really rather satisfying. This _may_ have to do with being accompanied by a _flaming blue chakra cat_ large enough to tower over the village’s curtain wall, and the absolute crowds of people gawking at them from said wall.

Granted, kaa-san has multiple bits of herself running around keeping everyone on track and toting the little ones and the largest bits of their luggage, so she’s not at full size, but then again full size wasn’t deemed necessary to make an _impression_ on Konoha’s residents as to why picking a fight with the clan is probably a very lethal idea. Or at least a very, very bad idea.

Making an impression had been a sadly necessary consideration, given how large a portion of their clan originates from clan children sent out too young to fight in an adults’ war. Not that they’ll ever _admit_ to it, of course, but it is rather obvious in a number of cases. Starting with his and Tobirama’s cases, because both of them are rather recognizable, at least to the Uchiha and Senju clans. Both of which are sizable and powerful.

_Messing with their minds is going to be so fun!_

As Hina, Bhumi, and Jiahao approach the front gates, they pulse a bit of chakra through the hiraishin markings hidden below their clothes, and Izuna, Tobirama, and Hisao appear in flashes of light, dropping their henges as they do, making it seem like they appear like ghosts might. Gasps and shouts from the wall prove they’ve attained that goal sufficiently. Even better, Hisao manages to not fall on his ass this time, although only because he holds onto Jiahao’s shoulder until he regains his balance. Small victories. Hisao’s been having more trouble with the displacement disorientation than either he or Tobirama, and he’ll probably never be able to use it in a fight, but it makes for a great impression in this particular moment.

To their credit, Hashirama and Madara barely flinch. Then again, they’ve had dealings with ‘ghosts’ before. Dealings that led directly to the creation of this village when they ended the generations long feud between their clans. _And_ they’ve had prior warning of his and Tobirama’s appearances, from that idiot trio who had tripped over the clan and then played messenger with the contracts.

Madara recovers first and nudges Hashirama sharply with his elbow.

Hashirama blinks, then beams. “Welcome to Konoha!”

~

After the required chitchat of polite greetings, Hashirama says, “We’ll lead you to your new-”

Madara clears his throat and cuts in smoothly, “Hikaku, one of my clansmen, will lead you to the land we have agreed you will settle within Konoha.”

Tobirama merely blinks, though from Hashirama’s startled look, this is news to _him._ Izuna nods, so apparently _he_ understands what’s happening. “Of course. We are honored.”

“Oh, then I’ll send Tou-”

Tobirama clears his throat. _The last thing they need is Touka deciding to punch him in front of an audience this large._ “No need, lord Hokage. One guide is plenty.”

Hashirama hesitates for a moment, then nods. “Of course. Madara and I will be along later to make sure that your clan is having no issues with settling in.”

Fortunately, this Hikaku seems pleasant enough and not irked by the unexpected duty as he guides them through Konoha. And even more fortunately, no one really wants to get any closer to a bijuu than they already are, so no one tries to accost them and accuse them of child theft. Which, quite honestly, was the whole _point_ of having kaa-san come in at two thirds her actual size instead of coming in all in summons-sized pieces.

Of course, they can’t _all_ avoid the public eye indefinitely, but most of them have changed enough with a few years’ time that they can interact safely enough and keep the ones who _are_ most at risk of being recognized on clan lands until they’re a bit older and more able to defend themselves and remember how to fend off claims by other clans. Naturally, someone, somewhen, is going to recognize one or more of the clan and try to reclaim them, but the later the better. Once the clan compound is constructed, and once the clan has established a reputation as invaluable to Konoha, they’ll be on much firmer ground about defending their independence and clan members. None of them are naïve enough to believe that a piece of paper _cannot_ be ignored if the clans are outraged enough.

Later, after they send Isamu and Kanna out with Hikaku as a guide, to mark the boundaries of their lands, he asks, “What was that all about?”

Izuna blinks at him, then grins. “You mean Madara? He’s probably having a panic attack because he’s figured out who I am.”

“You don’t seem too worried about it.”

“If he wanted to call us out on it, he’d have done so already, so it means he’s on our side. I’m surprised Hashirama didn’t recognize you.”

Tobirama shrugs. “He’s good at compartmentalizing. He’ll figure it out later, probably. And then come try to weep on me. Hopefully not in public.”

Izuna’s shudder at the thought makes him smile slightly. Honestly, Hashirama’s not so goofy as to make a spectacle of them where hostile eyes might take advantage. Not on _purpose_, at least. If he’s drunk might be another matter, of course.

~

“Pardon my curiosity, but do you have a doujutsu?”

Isamu gives Hikaku-san a startled look. He knows he _looks_ like an Uchiha, but he’s actually from a civilian family over in River. His parents had begged Tobirama-sama to buy him so that they’d have enough food to survive a particularly harsh winter several years ago. “Saa… No, Hikaku-san. I specialize in doton, so Izuna-sama wants me to know where the borders lie, so I can raise the wall later.”

“Ah, I see.” Hikaku-san looks rueful.

“I do!” Kanna chirps. “Wanna see? It’s called Kasha.”

“I would be honored.” Hikaku-san says after a moment of startled silence.

Without missing a beat, Kanna activates the doujutsu _(which is really the sharingan, altered by Matatabi-sama)_, her black eyes darkening a shade and eerie blue tomoes flaming to life and spinning slowly around her irises. “See? It’s called Kasha because it reminds people of actual Kasha! We don’t steal souls, though! It just lets us see chakra different and stuff.”

Hikaku-san looks a little freaked out, but manfully gets his face under control after a few seconds. “I see. That’s quite lovely. Almost the inverse of the sharingan, color-wise.”

“Sharingan? Oooh! Have you seen it, then? I’ve heard it’s almost as pretty as Tobirama-nii’s eyes!”

The man chuckles, and activates his sharingan for a moment for her inspection. “I have it, actually.”

Kanna, because Kanna is an utter ham, stares raptly into his eyes for a long moment, then blinks and beams at him. “Yeah, that’s so cool! They _are_ almost as pretty as Tobi-nii’s eyes!”

Poor Hikaku-san looks rather lost at this proclamation, apparently not used to non-Uchiha brushing off the famed sharingan as merely pretty. Isamu nods solemnly. “They are quite attractive. I’m glad I don’t have a doujutsu, though. No one tries to steal _my_ eyes.”

She giggles creepily and sticks her tongue out at him. “Hey! That Rock nin only tried that _once_.”

He rolls his eyes at her. “Yeah, because Tobirama-sama _slaughtered _him. You had nightmares for a week and insisted on sleeping with Shouko-nee for a month.”

“Shouko-nee’s comfy!”

“Pervert.”

Kanna pouts at him, but he ignores her, going back to their assigned task. He’s not _wrong_, after all. Poor Shouko-nee’s breasts are so large that Tobirama-sama actually designed a type of open-storage seal to put on her tops, to alleviate her backstrain, that makes her look like she’s got regular sized breasts when she’s wearing them. He’s seen the perverts in the clan have fist-fights over who gets to platonic-cuddle with her, whereas the rest avoid sharing a bed with her, because she’s a very aggressive sleep-cuddler.

Hikaku-san chuckles. “Doujutsu theft _is_ a danger. As much to the would-be thieves as the owner, since it is an unforgivable crime.”

“Nuh-uh. Tobi-nii and Izuna-nii made us protection seals for them, so it’s _only_ a danger to thieves.” Kanna corrects.

“Kanna-chan.” Isamu snaps repressively, because _honestly_, she knows better than to talk about that.

Her eyes widen, then she droops in realization. “Sorry, Isamu-nii. Can you just forget you heard that, Hikaku-san?”

“Your brothers must be very talented to design such a protection.” Hikaku avoids deftly, which means _no, he won’t forget_.

Izuna-sama is going to have a fit. Tobirama-sama will probably just give them a _deeply disappointed_ look and assign them drudge work for the next century. He sighs. _Well, there are worse things she could have let slip._

~

Tobirama glances around, noting the half-hostile gazes of the rest of the newly formed Civic Planning committee. Of course they would be resentful of a small, unknown clan taking over one of the main responsibilities of the village, but Hashirama and Madara had been insistent about keeping the original, somewhat outrageous clause. They had even added a couple twists that made it nearly impossible for the clan to break out of it should they change their minds in the future. Which _really?_ Says far more than he likes about the current state of Konoha’s civic systems.

He sighs and removes a stack of papers from a storage scroll and slaps them down on the conference table. “Sewer plans.” He adds three more stacks alongside them. “Electrical plans. Water system plans. School curriculum basics, as we are unfamiliar with the current system, please review these first and give your feedback. A new curriculum will be planned accordingly. Bear in mind that the curriculum must be equal for all students, and not lend itself to favoritism towards any particular clans or children.”

Next to him, Izuna pulls out three stacks of his own. “Plans for a Fire Detection and Repression department. Plans for a Civil Order department. Plans for Disaster Prevention and Handling, in regards to civilians and other non-combatants.”

Hina smiles sweetly next to Izuna and sets down the stack she pulls out, tidying it neatly, before saying, “Plans for a Civic Justice and Law department.”

Next to her, Bhumi scowls and slaps down two stacks of her own. “Plans for a Civilian Daycare for parents who have no one to watch their children while working. Plans for a Shinobi Daycare and Missioncare for ninja parents who have no one to leave children with while gone on missions.”

Jiahao quietly sets down a stack as thick as both of Bhumi’s together. “Plans for a hospital and qualification courses for medics.”

Hisao slumps in his seat. “Plans for a jail system to restrain criminal shinobi and kunoichi have already been delivered to the Jounin Commander, as they have been deemed not a matter for this committee’s discussion. Lady Mito will be a consultant in the matter.”

“If I may ask, why are there _six_ Matatabi clan members here?” Eniko Sarutobi asks tightly. “I believe your clan was only granted _three_ seats on this committee.”

Izuna smiles charmingly at her. “Not to worry, Lady Sarutobi. Hina, Bhumi, and Hisao are only here for the initial presentations, since our clan has been tasked with the Civic Systems department. Tobirama-nii and I and Jiahao are the ones who will be holding the committee seats, though others may stand in for us if we are away on missions, or occupied by other matters that hold precedence. Hisao is actually here because he is the person who will be taking applications from those outside the clan to hold positions in the Civic Systems department, as there is far too much to do for one simple clan such as ours to handle on its own. And naturally, village law and the shinobi chain of command and whatnot are well outside our purview.”

She snorts indelicately. “I would think so. I’m more concerned as to what you bribed the Hokage and Madara-sama with to get assigned an entire department.”

Tobirama chuckles despite himself. “I assure you, Lady Sarutobi, it was not a term we expected to be taken seriously _or_ accepted, much less tied into it with as much enthusiasm as the Hokage and First Councilor greeted it with. It is called negotiation, something I am sure you are quite familiar with. Indeed, we were simply after at least one seat on this committee, as we believe we have skills uniquely suited for the purpose. We, ourselves, were more than a little concerned to learn that Konoha _required_ us to take over the Civic Systems department, as our clan is relatively small and certainly not capable of doing the work all on our own. It is our fortune that we have been allowed to recruit as many others as needed to fulfill the work requirements.”

Eniko-san stares at him for a moment, tapping her fingers together. “A clan of paperwork ninja, then?”

_Is he supposed to take offence at that?_

He looks at Izuna, who has the gall to look vastly entertained at his expense.

Jiahao clears his throat. “No, Lady Sarutobi. Most of those who will hold positions within the Civic Systems departments are either civilians or ninjas who only take missions occasionally. Ninjas such as Tobirama-nii, Izuna-nii, and Hisao-nii will take missions, just as ninjas from other clans do. I, myself, am a civilian, though I have been instructed in the basics of chakra manipulation, as are all within our clan.”

Hina giggles. “There’s nothing wrong with being paperwork ninjas. Hokage-sama probably does more paperwork than even Tobirama-nii and Izuna-nii. Paperwork is _important_, you know.”

“I suppose so.” Eniko-san acquiesces after a moment. “School curriculum first, you say?”

“Yes. Sewers and water systems are easy enough to approve or amend. Education of the children is another matter, however, and should be a primary concern. Unfortunately, most of what we bring to the table today is of primary concern, but education is one of the more complex ones, that will require the most discussion, we believe. As will the guidelines of establishment for the Civil Justice and Law department.” He grimaces and elbows Izuna, because Tobirama should _not_ be the one trying to clarify things for people if they want things put in simple terms.

Izuna coughs. “Ow. Don’t be mean, Tobi-nii. What he means is that children are our future and treasure, and it’s best to get that squared away as soon as possible, so none of the children end up with neglected educations. Since we don’t _know_ the current curriculum, we’re more than a little concerned about it. And we’re sure the other clans are as well. And with the Law and Justice department, we’re concerned about making sure that there is a standardized way of legally getting married within Konoha, so- Ow! Tobi-nii! Don’t poke holes in me! Anyways. Let’s just pass around the papers and present them so we can have proper discussions.”

“Agreed.” Katsuro Yamanaka speaks up, disrupting any further poking at their clan from Lady Sarutobi. Though, by his tone, Tobirama thinks that the man intends to treat every phrase and clause with full-out suspicion.

Which is…fair. If a bit unwarranted. The Matatabi clan has _no intention_ of sabotaging Konoha or using their position for their own profit at the expense of others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kasha doujutsu- Basically, Matatabi took a good look at the sharingan, decided how it worked was broken, and fixed it. Doing so mostly changes the coloration, activation key _(love and protection, not anger/hate and self-blame)_, and altered how it sees chakra, slightly. Like the sharingan, the kasha glows in the dark. It also does not suffer from degradation like the sharingan does. It can still evolve the mangekyo stage, but doesn’t require any eye-swapping to avoid blindness, but using Izanagi or Izanami causes permanent blindness in _both_ eyes, and it’s not quite as over-the-top in some of its abilities. It cannot evolve into a Rinnegan.  
In general, if one parent had the Kasha mutation and one had the original sharingan, the Kasha mutation would win out genetically, four out of five times, and a sharingan the fifth time.  
Kasha are corpse stealer youkai or some such. There are variations on it, one of which is associated with fiery wheels and carts. Since canonically the Nibi was thought to have originated as a ghost and was associated with the Kasha, I thought it was appropriate enough as a name for the altered doujutsu.
> 
> Shimura- The Shimura Clan head. Name not given in canon, so sorta OC?  
Inoka Yamanaka- The Yamanaka Clan head. Name not given in canon, so sorta OC?  
Shikani Nara- The Nara Clan head. Name not given in canon, so sorta OC?  
Kouga Hanamoto- OC, Clan head of the OC clan Hanamoto.  
Sasuke Sarutobi- The Sarutobi Clan head. Canon character. He’s not mentioned here, but he’s around.
> 
> Hashirama Senju- Senju Clan head and Shodaime Hokage  
Madara Uchiha- Uchiha Clan head and chief advisor to the Hokage.
> 
> Hikaku Uchiha- Canon character. Madara’s second in command.  
Touka Senju- Canon character. Trusted clan member.  
Mito Uzumaki-Senju- Canon character. Princess of the Uzumaki clan and wife to Hashirama. Fuuinjutsu specialist.  
Amara Uchiha- OC character. Madara’s wife. Canon doesn’t mention Madara having a wife and kids, but then again, we only know that Hashirama had a kid because of Nawaki and Tsunade and a brief mention of knowledge of the seal weakening in childbirth. And there’s a couple hints that Madara _may_ have had offspring. Obviously if he had a wife, she wasn’t enough of a force to be reckoned with to be mentioned by history, though, which is sad. So this time around he has a wife (possibly kids), and his wife has a _personality_. She gets along well with Mito.  
Eniko Sarutobi- OC. Sasuke Sarutobi’s wife. Clan lady.  
Katsuro Yamanaka- Inoka’s husband. Fills the ‘clan lady’ role, as far as day to day duties go.
> 
> Tobirama- Originally a Senju. Invented the Hiraishin. Co-Clan head.  
Izuna- Originally an Uchiha. Can use the Hiraishin. Co-Clan head.
> 
> Shouko- OC. Originally a Senju. Poor thing could seriously use breast reduction surgery. They make Tsunade’s size look _average_. Aggressive cuddler.  
Isamu- OC. Originally a civilian from River country. Very respectful towards Tobirama and Izuna, particularly the former. Specializes in doton.  
Kanna- OC. Originally an Uchiha. Questionable sense of humor, slightly perverted, not terribly good at keeping secrets sometimes. Has the Kasha doujutsu.  
Hisao- OC. Originally a Nara. Can use the Hiraishin.  
Jiahao- OC. Originally a civilian from the Land of Ice. Former slave.  
Bhumi- OC. Originally an orphan from a Wind country clan.  
Hina- OC. Originally from a small Fire country clan, and the only survivor.


End file.
